THE FIRST MOVE


They say relationships are complicated. Well, so is life at times. It’s complicated because you’re dealing with people who have got a different mindset towards things so conflict of interest is imminent. But there is always a place for balancing. Now a lot of couples have issues with who makes the FIRST MOVE? I’ve come to find out that most of the time, this always apply to apologies and communication.

James keeps whining about how Jane always waits for him to bring up the discussions and when there is a dispute, she waits for him to apologise whether or not she’s wrong. I figured this little problem have caused a lot break ups in modern relationships. Questions is, does it really matter who makes the FIRST MOVE? Sometimes couples miss the actual point of a relationship. If Jane feels so bad that James is not calling then she should pick up the phone and call her man. Jane shouldn’t fold her hands and say

“Oh It’s been two weeks now and he’s still not calling. He doesn’t even text or says nice words to me any longer. I’ll give him another two weeks and if he still doesn’t call then we’re done.”

Trust me, James may never call. You know why? It’s because he’s fed up of making the FIRST MOVE all the time. He’s never gonna call because he’s also waiting for you to call. Both of you might just be waiting vain.

Sometimes we just make a mole out of nothing. The question of WHO MAKES THE FIRST MOVE? has become a big problem to a lot of relationships today and unfortunately, break ups. Like I always say, TRUST is the foundation of a tree called LOVE but COMMUNICATION is what keeps that tree producing fruits. Take out communication and the tree will only shrivel.

It starts when calling becomes an issue. Then talking becomes an issue. Then seeing becomes an issue. Until the point where the essence of a relationship is distant then everyone decides to go their separate ways. Should it be like that? Of course, no. A big chunk of the problems we have today is caused by STATUSQUO. This is how it’s done. It’s always been like this. It’s a norm for the guy to always make the move. Question is, who ever said that? Jane says

“After all, he’s a guy. He asked me out first so he should always make the FIRST MOVE.”

I think it’s childish. Relationship is all about communication. If we are not talking then it’s no point calling it a relationship. FIRST MOVE doesn’t make you stupid. It only tells you were first to realise the true essence of a relationship. FIRST MOVE doesn’t say you care too much. It says you know better. Sometimes the little things we do take away the best people from our lives without us even realising it.

You’d ask, why does it always have to be me who takes the first step? If you feel that way, take the first step and then talk to your partner about it. Let her know you’re not the only one in the relationship. Maybe she feels too comfortable with you as the guy always leading the way. That could explain why she always takes the back-seat. Make her understand that both of you are in it together for each other. So James could call up Jane and say

“Bae, it shouldn’t always be like this. I don’t always have to be the one who calls or apologises when there is an issue. If you feel so bad about it, talk to me about it so it doesn’t linger. Sometimes I’d like to take the back-seat too. I love you so much and that’s why I want us to work.”

Now Jane knows her man doesn’t like the idea that he’s always taking the first step and so she can adjust at this point. Now Jane and James are good because James decided to talk about it. If he didn’t make the FIRST MOVE then the relationship wouldn’t have moved on. Sometimes we need to make people see the change we want to see for things to work out. FIRST MOVE is the most simplest of moves but seems very much difficult because of EGO. James might have said.

“I’m a man. I can’t say sorry to a woman. I shouldn’t be the mouthpiece in the relationship. I won’t call her until she calls…”

In the end, that relationship dies and you might just have lost the best woman for you just because you refused to let your guards down. Someone once said that

“If your relationship is not working out now because of one problem. What makes you think the next relationship wouldn’t have the same problem?”

It means all things happen to all relationships alike. The difference is how we go about them. If your EGO will not let you call her and then you break up. What makes you think your EGO will let you call the next one? Be smart. Why not stick to it and put your house in order instead of running to another man’s house for shelter. No relationship is void of troubles. If you could walk up to her and talk to her to having a relationship, then learn to always walk up to her even when she’s yours.

For the ladies, if my man is offering so much for this relationship, then I should be able to do the same so we can work. I should be willing to make sacrifices for my man. Don’t let talking become an issue less it becomes THE issue which eventually makes the fat lady sings. So be smart today, don’t throw away that awesome relationship for something you could control. Make that move today and save your relationship. Love is unconditional. This is Danny world…

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