Now when I see something I like I love to share it with people and make references to the sources. Now stumbled on something today that would really help our conversation level a lot. Now for those of you who are like ‘I don’t know what to talk about when I meet someone’ in most cases it’s a girl you just met but you don’t know how to start a conversation. Well this will help you. Now here are 10 things you must do to start an interesting conversation. I got this from Psychology Today.
1.LISTEN. Too often when we’re meeting someone new, we try to
fill the dead moments with chatter about ourselves. Far better
for you to listen first, talk second. Of course, someone has to
start the conversation, but if you and your companion actually
listen to each other and not worry about what to say next, things
will flow more naturally.
2. USE EMPHATIC REFLECTING SKILLS. The next level
of Rogerian communication involves restating
what you heard or at least what you think you
heard. This will show that you’ve been listening
and will also allow your conversation partner to
clarify if in fact you are way off in your judgment of what you
thought you heard.
3. TURN ON YOUR NON-VERBAL DETECTORS. Rogers was well known
for his ability to read the body language of his clients. It’s
easiest to do this if you refocus your attention from how you’re
feeling inside to how you think the other person is feeling based
on that person’s nonverbal cues. If the person seems
uncomfortable with where the conversation is heading, shift
gears. Though some people enjoy debating politics, religion,
and sex, other people would rather keep things light. Learn how
to gauge the impact of what you’re saying by reading bodily
cues such as posture, eye contact, and hand movements.
4. AVOID SNAP JUDGMENTS. If you follow steps 1-3 above, you’ll
be less likely to misjudge the person you’re talking to, but we
all suffer from the temptation to rush to conclusions about
people based on superficial cues. Things aren’t always what
they seem to be when meeting someone for the first time. If
you’ve listened carefully, reflected back what you heard, and
kept your nonverbal channel open, you’ll be less likely to make
a mistaken judgment based on outer cues.
5. BE AN ONLINE DETECTIVE/BEHAVIOURAL PROFILER. You can help
your case even further if you have the chance to find out ahead
of time who you’ll be meeting along with a little bit of their
history. Then you’ll be prepared to ask questions that will be
relevant to the people you’re meeting. If you don’t have the
opportunity, practice your behavioral profiling by using the
visual cues at your disposal (think Sherlock Holmes who could
infer occupation by looking at someone’s hands).
6. DON’T ASSUME PEOPLE ALWAYS AGREE WITH YOU. Research on social
psychology shows that many of us engage in the “assumed
similarity bias.” It’s not safe to conclude that because you are
opposed to one or another political party that the person you’re
talking to is as well. Debates can make for enjoyable
conversation. If you assume everyone feels as you do, though,
it’s likely you’ll get started on the wrong foot and end up with it
in your mouth.
7. TRY TO LEARN FROM EACH CONVERSATION. A
person you’ve never met before may have been places and done
things that you haven’t yet or will never do. People from other
places, including countries other than your own, can give you
new perspectives. They will only open up if you show that
you’re interested. You can expand your knowledge of other
regions, cultures, and nations, ultimately making you a more
interesting conversationalist as well.
8. STAY ON TOP OF THE NEWS. Being familiar with current events is
absolutely the best way to have enough topics to bring up in any
conversation. The topics don’t have to be weighty nor do they
have to involve in-depth expertise. Even knowing what the
number one box office hit or what the hot songs or videos are is
better than being oblivious to what is going on in the world
9. KNOW WHEN TO TALK. Some people prefer no conversation
at all, especially in confined situations such as public
transportation. You might think it’s great to while away the
boring hours on a long airplane ride by conversing with your
seat neighbor. However, if you’re getting cues from that
passenger (or others around you) to the contrary, then take the
hint that your silence would be considered golden. If you find
yourself constantly doing this wherever you go (and getting
negative feedback), make sure you won’t be bored by bringing
along something to read or do to keep yourself amused.
10. DON’T OVERSHARE. Perhaps you’ve heard the
adage that it’s ok to tell strangers your most
private secrets. After all, you’ll never see them
again. Right? You may see that person again, or that person
might know someone you know. In the six-degrees-of
separation world that we live in, it’s amazing how quickly your
personal secrets can spread. People feel uncomfortable when
they hear a stranger’s deepest secrets. Put yourself in the other
person’s shoes. How would you feel if you heard someone you
hardly know tell you about their love affairs, medical condition,
or family disputes?
Oversharing can make you a bore.
REFERENCE – PSYCHOLOGY TODAY