A lot of couples today experience a great deal of “unenthuisiam” in their relationships and most times can’t explain why that happens. Sometimes it brings the base of the relationship to question. Sometimes the couple can’t explain why the relationship seem to be losing its steam. You get to hear things like “I don’t seem to feel the relationship anymore.” You’d also hear things like “I’m bored of this relationship.” Most times you hear things like “Perhaps it’s best we take a break.” which we all know where that ends. It’s like the light went out of the relationship and now you’re in the dark wondering how to put it back on. I’ll tell you how in a bit.
At the start of a relationship, there is always the urge to wanna do possibly everything as a couple. You wanna always be around your man or woman. You wanna always go out on a date. Perhaps you guys go see a movie at the cinemas or go chill out at a beach or go clubbing and the likes. Sometimes it could be sex. You wanna have him cuddle you or something. But then, after a while, you don’t seem to wanna do all that anymore and he doesn’t seem to either. Then you start wondering what really happened between you guys and you find nothing. You simply can’t explain why but you just can’t find that urge anymore. I’ll tell you why in a bit.
Now if you your relationship is at this point, the first question you must ask yourself is, why did I start this relationship? When a man engages in a journey and the road gets rough, he must know why he begun at first to weigh the worth. Truth is, if a man knows why he started a project, he never takes his eyes off the objective. Sometimes we venture into relationships cause we need to not because we want to. You entered into a relationship cause you needed to feel loved. You entered into a relationship cause you needed not to be alone. You entered into a relationship cause you needed not to be left out. This is one of the reasons why we get bored of the relationship at some point cause we never got to understand the whole essence. This has also crumbled many marriages.
When you figure the base was always in question then you know why the relationship lost its flames cause you never knew what to do with the flames. It means when I find out I never had no use for the flames then it goes off after a while cause I had nothing to keep it burning for. When a relationship doesn’t start on the right track and the right foot then it’s no point starting the race cause you’re only gonna end up getting disqualified.
I bet you might wanna ask, what if it was on the right track? What if I really did love this person? What if the base wasn’t in question? Why did the fire still go out? I’ll tell you how to put the fire back on in your relationship with this short story.
John has been a banker at a notable bank in the country for almost a decade. John has always wanted to be a banker from the get go and that he’s achieved. Recently, John has been complaining about his job. He says he’s tired of the job cause it was getting boring for him as it were. So John went to his best friend to share. Then he said
“James, I’m really tired of my job. I’ve been doing the same thing for almost 10 years. I can’t seem to find that spark I had some years back. I really don’t understand why but I just don’t find my job exciting anymore. Perhaps I should quit and get another job.” John poured out.
Apparently, he really couldn’t understand his job anymore and so he needed to share his thoughts with someone he could trust. So James answered.
“Alright my friend. One question real quick. Were you ever in love with this job?” James asked.
John seemed surprised with his friend’s question.
“Damn right I did love this job. Always have. You know that better than anyone else.” John answered.
“Then stop complaining about the job and start enjoying what you love to do cause only then will you find that spark you’re looking for.” James said.
“…Erm-mm…What does that even mean?” John was a bit bewildered.
“You see my friend, when you’ve got love for a thing, then you must make it work. The reason why you feel your job is no longer exciting is because you’ve stop relating with it rather you’ve stayed on the complains which has caused you to lose interest. Now you say you wanna take another job, question is, what makes you think you won’t get tired of that one as well?
The boredom and unexciting nature of your job is the same as the next. What you need to do is approach your job everyday like it just begun and create moments or an enabling atmosphere for you to work better and happier. Don’t be afraid to take on heights or new challenges and you’ll be fine.” James ended saying.
“Wow! I never thought of this my friend. Thank you so much.” John was grateful.
So John went back to his job a better and happy man again. It’s like that in our relationships. Sometimes we think calling it quits is always the solution when the relationship gets boring. Well, it’s not cause the next relationship will certainly end up like this if you don’t fix it. John only got that idea when he talked about it with a friend which means there is always a talking to do and that’s why communication is very important in relationships. Perhaps, if you’d talk to your partner about it then you guys can always work something out. You never know what the next person is thinking until you hear his words.
We learnt from that little story that when you love something, you must do everything to make it work. When you love someone and then the relationship, you’ve gotta make it work. The love is the drive for results. The love brings about the understanding that even though the relationship is not how I want it to be but I know we can always create moments together. Also, try to change the system at times. If you said “I love you” once in week then try to tell her “I love you” every night before she goes to bed. Sometimes that might be what’s been lacking. Don’t be about the insipid or bland state of your relationship. Be about the beauty of it. This is Danny world….