MARRIAGE AS THE PINNACLE

Over the years, Society  has made us believe that being married is the zenith of any “human.” Well, mostly, I believe the word now is “women.” The notion, especially in these parts is, as a woman, you should be married before you hit 30. Well, these days, 25 seems to be the benchmark. The success of a woman is ostensibly tied to the Ring on her finger.

Amazingly, Society have ended up subjugating a lot of women to marriage being the only route out of a life of Mediocrity. Well, if only they knew Society is nothing but Mediocrity.

One would have thought that the advent of Educational and Social Orientation and Awareness would have totally erased such ridiculous assertions. Flash forward to 2018, and Society still stare at an unmarried 30-year old woman with prejudice. In this parlance, you’d probably hear expressions like,

“Man don finish for this country…”

Or something in the line of

“Stop chasing them away…”

So a girl who’s in her early 20’s in college is already getting pressured on getting married before her graduation. You would probably hear words like,

“Make sure you find someone in school at least…”

In most cases, they think it’s best you’re engaged in your final year. The idea is that you should be married during or immediately after your service year. Now here’s a young girl whose dreams of pursuing a career of her choice whether or not it’s in relation to her field of study.

All of a sudden, all her Educational Background, Academic Prowess, Aspirations and Sense of Autonomy is relegated to the backseat simply because Society has cornered her to believe that Marriage is the Pinnacle.

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Now that young lady in her naivety has been hoodwinked to believe that Marriage is fulfilment. She can’t explore the world because she’s told Women can’t be Choosers.

Amazingly, her vision to harness her abilities, cognitive and vocational skills is truncated by Society because she has to get married. So Society says,

“No one would respect you when you’re not married…”

Again, another Societal Mediocrity that keeps you in Oblivion.

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One would be tempted to think that women are not prepared for Life but for Marriage. It’s insane how the means has become the ultimate end. A girl at age 13 is already being warned by her mother not to lose her virginity to any man because she needs to be chaste for a husband she’s never met. Ironically, the narrative is not the same with the boys as the mother doesn’t say the same words to her boy. Rather, you’d hear something in the line of,

“Just make sure you don’t impregnate any girl…”

And I’m thinking, hold on a second, that changes everything. So the boy grows up thinking it’s okay to engage in sexual intercourse as far as I don’t get anyone pregnant. Whereas, the girl is coerced to keep her virginity for some male prostitute she’s never met stifling her freedom to sexual exploitation.

Little wonder why a lot of marriages have crashed as a result of background. Women are prepared for Marriage whilst Marriage is prepared for Men. Hence, a social misconception caused by a societal dysfunction.

A man is told,

“Don’t worry you can get married when you’re financially ready…”

While the woman is told,

“Men are scarce so the earlier the better…” Amazing right?

A huge socio-cultural contrast. While the initial is provided a relaxed environment, the latter is put under immense pressure. Obviously, we’re not being placed in the right positions or situations to make the best decisions which is unfair.

Now let’s bring this home guys. Marriage is no Pinnacle neither is it the purpose for your existence. We must begin to unlearn and change Society’s debasing “norms” and jump ship because it’s only going to sink deep into the ocean of Ignorance and drag you down with it and eventually keep you there.

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We must understand that like every other stage, process or institution that we go through in life, Marriage is no different. The only variation is that you no longer have to go through it Alone because you’ve Support now.

On that premise, achieving your Life goals and reaching for the stars as regards your endeavors should be less difficult because now you’ve got a Partner. Unfortunately, this concept’s been flipped. Marriage has become the Goal rather than the Means to the Goal. So I guess it begs the question,

“What are your Goals for Life?”

“What do you want out of Life?”

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It’s the astronomical question a lot of us have failed to answer or somewhat shy away from. Hence, Society provides us the answer in “Marriage.” So it’s a case of you can’t give what you don’t have and as such, you take whatever is thrown at you which why most times, we delve in unprepared and oblivious of the path we’re headed.

Self-Development is Self-Improvement. And everything we do, should be geared towards getting better every day on all fronts. We must begin to reach beyond the stars as there are no limits to what we can achieve. Marriage is no Achievement only a Means. It’s not the Peak only a Stepping Stone. There’s always something more.

We must understand that our lives matter and we make our own choices. Marriage, like every other thing in life, is a Choice and like all Choices, we are Responsible for the Results. In the end, the World is your Canvas, Paint it. Your Mind is your Wall, Break it. Marriage is only a Prelude. This is Danny world…